About the FNAF Movie...

If you didn’t already know, I am a FNAF Fan. I was a fan since around FNAF 2, I have a few plushies of the first four animatronics in the first game I like to think I know a lot about the lore, I have eight FNAF OC’s, one of which you may know and is seeing major improvements as a genuine character, etc. So to hear that FNAF was finally getting a movie after years of delay and change, I was perplexed but excited. I then looked at the all reviews and was starting to question things. Could this movie be as bad as the critics say or are the fans right? So now, as of October 30th of 2023, I watched it and I just wanna say again, I love FNAF. As mentioned, I have eight entire OC’s from a FNAF Roleplay game (Yes, your eyes aren’t deceiving you), I only need chica to complete the main four collection of plushies and I am pretty knowledgeable of the lore. I remember keeping up with the game theory videos, making FNAF drawings, wanting to know which character would get a plushy, listening to the music fans made, watching those fan animations, me just loving it all. Sure, my interest died down but I still kept myself updated just a bit. Honestly, FNAF might be the main reason I tried my hands at writing something more for my characters and maybe one of the reasons why I am here on SN at all and now with me done praising the franchise that is Five Nights at Freddy’s… I fucking hate this movie, It’s one of the MOST DISAPPOINTING thing I have ever seen…

Okay okay. Sure, Its not as dull as Quantumania and Its not ultra unfunny as was Morbius but as a FNAF Fan, the movie… does a near complete disservice to everything that made, at the very least, those first few entries good. Yes, the cameos are cool, the production value for the pizzeria is actually great, the animatronics look awesome and… That’s it. Everything “good” about this movie is super-fucking-ficial. The jokes that did make me laugh are few and far between, the animatronics and especially william afton are severely underutilized, this movie could barely get any of the elements of the first game correctly, it shoves in elements from LATER games, some plot points are literally dropped once they’re “done” and just… No. Alright, the actors do what they can, I won’t hold anything against them but that’s it. Sure, the performances are good or at the least passable but its not just enough to save this film, I believe this movie could’ve genuinely benefitted from being an r rated film and focused on the more somber and isolated side of being in the pizzeria.

With all due respect, Kidgamer and Anomaly, you guys are just wrong. Dare I say, the critics were actually right. The feeling of total isolation and hopelessness from the first game is gone, the animatronics honestly look a little clunky from time to time (Especially in the poster, Freddy’s arms are fucked up and there are times when the animatronics look clunky outside the of the film), some of the logic and story beats are somehow bad even for FNAF standards and one of the most vital moments in the games feels much much less significant in movie form.

Is this too long for you? It is? Okay, Let me summarize my review…

Overall: I owe Godzilla Vs. Kong a deep apology because it is not the biggest letdown ever… That “honor” goes to the FNAF movie. The negatives simply outweigh the positives and honestly, I feel insulted, genuinely. This is nothing like the Mario Movie, this shit is like GvK except with arguably less positives. I’m sorry if you were expecting me to absolutely dick ride this film.

(This isn’t a repost, you didn’t see anything)

So I went to Universal Studios Hollywood for a field trip on October 27th if you didn’t already know and I figured I would document my experience…

What I Experienced

After some boring nonsense involving watching waiting for the bus which was much later than usual and having our intellect severely undermined when they put on Despicable Me 2, We arrived! Yay. We waited a bit for all the students to go to bathroom and whatnot and then we had a tour of the place. We than had a presentation about jurassic period plants and then had to find the plants where those who passed could go on the Jurassic World Ride first. It was suspenseful and that drop was horrific… I loved every second of it. Me along with like a four other kids then tried to go on Transformers: The Super Epic Ride in 4D but the wait was long and we needed our food vouchers. After that, I got a little lost… I then explored the TF Supply Vault and that Nintendo World place where I realized just how fucking capitalistic these fucking parks are. A simple plush, no bigger than say your average frontier remote, will cost $17 at the least and a simple name key chain thingy cost $14. It may not sound a lot unless you only have $45 to your name (I speak from experience).

After that, I went on the Transformers Ride and also loved it to death especially as a massive TF ultra mega fan. It just makes me wish that one small thing didn’t ask for you to get a loan from the bank. Once I was done with that, I went to the Mummy Ride where I was scared shitless of the intense speed of it all… At least I was until it experienced a technical difficulty and all of us had to leave the thing. I then went up to the upper lot and did more exploring, I went on the despicable me ride and I loved it too. Very good ride. Finally, I went to the Mario Kart Ride which was easily the longest wait, it took pretty much two hours just to start throwing shells at bowser. Once that was done, I went to go eat at the Simpsons restaurant using my voucher as payment. I had a Krusty Burger with Fries and Coca Cola/Coke, It was very good though I would’ve preferred crack. Get it? Coke? Crack? Cocaine? Anyways, I then did a bit more exploring whilst also drowning in the despair of knowing that $45 could only get you so far. Eventually, we all left and had a long bus ride back to the place where we were dropped off which would also be the place where our parents would pick us up. The End!

Let me remind you that this is the short version of the story, the long version could probably fill a few bible excerpts and knowing that the lot of you tend to have the attention span of a deficient goldfish on life support, I tried to shorten as much as possible whilst also keeping in the important shit. I had tons of fun and I’d love to go again, the pics are some of the stuff I experienced.