Fun fact of independence day: Its not kidnapping its surprise adoption

Have you or a loved one experienced friction?
If so, you can obtain a large discount on our medicine, Frictionless!
We found that friction caused spontaneous combustion, and many accidents are caused due to friction.
We set our goals to help people with this illness, and thats how we made frictionless!
Side effects may include: Increased chance of heart burn, increased chance of heart stroke, increased rate of spontaneous combustion, increased rate of limbs falling off, autism, most people experience death, or in extreme cases, explosions. You may also experience becoming an insane super-soldier. (Disclaimer: That is not the intent of the pill.) If you are pregnant or planning to be, do not take frictionless as it may cause you to experience explosion syndrome, which is highly contagious and will likely result in death. Please ask a doctor if frictionless is meant for you.