"I'll take your stunned silence as a YES!"
(~Craig Cuttlefish, implying the player is verbally paralyzed)

the boy agent 8 looks like he has a shit on his head
hold up, gotta write a wall of text;

---

There, right, there! Look at that tan well-tended skin, look at the killer shape he's in, look at that slightly stubbly chin; oh please he's gay, totally gay!

I'm not about to celebrate. Every trait could indicate. A totally straight expatriate. This guy's not gay, I say: not gay.

That is the elephant in the room, well is it relevant to assume; that a man who wears perfume is automatically radically fey?

But look at his coiffed and crispy locks.

Look at his silk translucent socks.

There's the eternal paradox, look what we're seeing (what are we seeing?) is he gay (of course he's gay!) or European?

Ooohhh...

Gay or European? It's hard to guarantee. Is he gay or European? Well hey; don't look at me!

You see, they bring their boys up different in those charming foreign ports, they play peculiar sports; in shiny shirts, and tiny shorts!

Gay or foreign fella? The answer could take weeks! They both say things like "ciao bella" while they kiss you on both cheeks! (oh please...)

Gay or European? So many shades of gray!

Depending on the time of day; the French go either way.

Is he gay or European? o—

There! Right! There! Look at that condescending smirk, seen it on every guy at work. That is a metro hetero jerk! That guy's not gay, I say; no way!

That is the elephant in the room, well is it relevant to presume; that a hottie in that costume:

Is automatically radically—

Ironically chronically—

Certainly flirtingly—

Genetically medically—

GAY! officially GAY! swishily GAY, GAY, GAY—GAY!...

DAMMIT

Gay or European? (so stylish and relaxed) is he gay or European? (i think his chest is waxed) But they bring their boys up different, there its culturally diverse; it's not a fashion curse—if he wears a kilt or bears a purse.

Gay or just exotic? I still can't crack the code. Yeah; his accent is hypnotic! But his shoes are pointy-toed.

Huh

Gay or European, so many shades of gray! But if he turns out straight, I'm free at 8 on Saturday.

Is he gay or European? Gay or European? Gay or Euro—wait a minute! Give me chance to crack this guy, I have an idea I'd like to try.

The floor is yours.

So, Mr. Eightacos, are you gay?

lol yeah

Ok

#Splatoon #Splatoon2 #OctoExpansion