26 – “If you get really sick, you can guilt your dad into coming back to your life.”
27 – “Tell a scam phone operator you love them and jerk off. It’ll get them to leave.”
28 – “Don’t join the Army”
29 – “If you’re Asian, put on your parent’s shoes and run away so they can’t hit you (make sure there are no clothing hangers around)”
30 – “No idea how making a puppet talk is a profession. Don’t do it.”
31 – “Don’t take these tips seriously”