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this is how i sit at my computer desk knowing that every single day, every waiting, fleeting moment that i dont get on the log, that i dont post something good enough to get on the log, that im not good enough, i know that noone is ready for my next log worthy post. i lay awake at night, cooking up anything and everything. i cook up designs, colors, nodes, i cook it all up. a noder ramsay worthy dish. and nobody notices. nobody knows. its kept hidden from the world. from everyone. from the site, from ym friends. but you mark my words, when i post the next post on this god forsaken site, you will be taken aback. blown away. sent into dust. socks burnt to crisps. crispier than they already were, you degenerates. the day of reckoning is soon upon all of you.




this is how i look up at the ceiling at nights when i realize im never gonna be an old Mexican army vet in 1858 who after fighting and getting brutally wounded in the Texas Revolution, decides to move to the newly formed land of Kansas where he expects to live the rest of peace, before he and his community are harrased and oppressed by the Pro Slavery Militia of the territories, and is forced to take up his guns one last time to fight in guerilla combat for those who cant fight for themselves, and equality among all races in america, utimately culminating in him taking a last stand alongside John Brown in his raid to Harper’s Ferry, but instead be forced to live in a future where i have to pay $20,000 a month for the smallest apartment available.

(ill turn this plot into a spaghetti western one day, trust me)
