A Review on the Powerful Stone

They say the Rolling Stone gathers no Moss. They also say that the Stone can kill two Birds (at the same Time? Perhaps). This is a testament to the Stone’s Boundless Perseverance and Frivolity, for it tumbles and rumbles Endlessly for Eternity, yet it enjoys all the Luxuries of a Mossless Life (what is Moss? Unknown). It too proves the Stone’s Strength and Power, for it is able to slay two Birds with only a single Swift and Violent Movement (what are Birds?), an Irrefutable Proof of the Insurmountable Might of the Stone (also called a Rock?). Perchance. Although Powerful and Resilient, the Stone is a Silent Beast. It never speaks. It never responds. It simply is. And yet the Weight of its Nonexistent, Unspoken Words weigh on the Mind as much as the Continents weigh on the Earth’s Crust. Had the Stone never existed, Mankind would be nowhere (because Humans are made of Stones and thus cannot exist if Stones do not). Much to ponder. Much to think. Does not taste Good. Perchance.

4/5 Stars.

A Review on the Humble Pinecone

They say that the Apple does not fall Far from the Tree. They are Wrong because the Pinecone is not an Apple, it is a Pinecone (which is not an Apple). But if they were to say the Pinecone does not fall Far from the Tree, they would still be Wrong, because Pinecones fall from Pines, and not from Trees (Trees are not Pines, this is the Truth). Although the Pinecone is certainly not Conical in Shape, it is indeed Pine-ical in Shape indeed, but just Browner and Smaller and less Pinier. Although Pinecones do not taste Good (Apples do), Pine Trees love to eat Pinecones, and this is True because if you leave a Pinecone Alone for Several Years (Many) you will find (Eventually) that a Pine Tree has taken its Place, because it saw the Pinecone and it said it was Yummy and it went over there to eat the Pinecone. The Pine Tree then releases more Pinecones for more Pine Trees to enjoy and dine upon. The Pinecone is what brings all Pine Trees Together, and is therefore the Ultimate Symbol of Companionship (Com-pine-ionship). It still tastes Very Bad. Yucky.

3/5 Stars.