You’re in your own head too much, you want to forget about it and move on, then do just that.

Nobody is asking you to be here right now, for your sanity and public image do yourself a favour, take a break and then come back when you are ready, but don’t expect praise or input when you return, the more you just go about your own business the less hassle you’ll get overall, this is just a sort of rule of thumb anyway.