I just didn’t even care to try. I weighed the pros and the cons of not participating, and here they are.

Cons:
– Some weirdos on the internet call you horny
– You can’t destroy your penis next month

Pros:
– Masturbation produces that precious serotonin
– People forget about it in like two days
– Who the fuck wants to destroy their penis?
– Stress Relief
– Your balls don’t start hurting like hell around the end of the month
– Masturbation is totally normal and has been happening for hundreds of years
– Sexual wellness
– Mental health

I just figured that all the pros outweigh the cons, so I just decided not to even care about it. I’ll still try to practice more self-control than usual, but I’m not sacrificing all the pros just to avoid the utterly minimal cons.