Little cuz, you literally do not have a job either. I know this for a fact! You’re fat and unemployed! I bet you get red in your puffy face when you think of me!

I do have a job, and it allows me to continue surfing and playing my ukulele on my off days! Plus it arouses the fuck out of your siren of a mom, awooga aye little cuz!

I hope you go very far with yourself, little keki, and make your parents proud! You probably won’t, but I pray that you do! Isn’t it strange that I genuinely want to see you succeed?

I’ve shaken turds down my pant leg smarter than you, hoki lapuwale!

As the ancient Hawaiians used to say “Pity the fool, but always remember that he is stupid”

Because you’re literally stupid, my kaikuaʻana! No like seriously, all bullshit aside, you are genuinely the most idiotic person I know. You LITERALLY do not think. You take EVERYTHING at face value, you’re naive as fuck, and you’ll believe it without question! You only just started demanding people “prove” things, but even then you sound like an idiot!

I can’t believe you thought that I really paid Ralph $750 to ban you. I can’t believe that you thought both of those faces were mine. You thought it was actually me in that apology video!

We have a saying on our island for people like you, little cuz,
“lapuwale!”

Little cuz, I’ve hosted drinking games in my cabana where my whole tribe gathers and we take a shot for every time you say “come crawling back 8 months later!”
And we’d get so drunk! Your mom would get so drunk and forget she’s married, and she’ll ask to be my wife instead!
You sound like a broken record. Fitting for your broken mind!

Oh speaking of them, my hepe pupo, I was promoted to the chief of my tribe thanks to you being such a dumbass. Life’s sweet, aye little cuz?

Ay little cuz! Y’know, I’ve been a little worried about you lately. I noticed that you’ve been replying to posts from people you hate. Posts that are days, weeks, and even months old! It’s almost like you’ve been stalking their activity pages, waiting to return and be a retard again!

Y’know, we have a saying about people like you on my little island, my keki.
“You’re mentally ill, you chunky little fuck!”

Subnautica