you ever just wanna belch but then it decides to hit you with an uno reverse card and then goes to the opposite side and then you wanna fart but you can tell its gonna be loud so you hold it in and then and goes back up to your mouth and makes your breath smell but your mouth is still closed so when you talk to someone they just smell it and then you immediately regret talking to them because now they smell your farts but they think its just your breath so they ask you if you can brush your teeth but you cant actually brush your teeth because as soon as you put the toothbrush to your teeth it literally melts cause your disgusting breath is so disgusting that you have to walk outside make a right make a left, cross the street continue foward, cross the street again to the other side, continue foward, cross the street, make a right then make a left to go to your nearest CVS to get a new toothbrush but they ask you to wear a mask so you wear it then smell your farts and it smells so bad you actually throw up inside your mask so you actually swallow your throwup and that goes to your butt so since its so hot outside people see throw up dripping down your leg and they think its poop so everyone backs away but as soon as they do the throwup on your leg actually dries up because of the extreme heat so you just embrace your nastiness and walk into CVS while everyone continues to back away so you just go get a toothbrush and realize they’re out but feel your stomach rumble so you go get chips but the throwup on your hand that somehow got there gets all over those glorious lays chips and so the whole store starts to smell of dried up throwup but you’re determined so you just get in line with your lays chips waiting to take off your mask and eat those delicious chips but realize the line is absurdly long so you just immediately get sad, put your chips back, and leave, but as soon as you do so you realize the dried up throwup on your leg and your fart breath is still there?

THE
SUBTLE
ART OF
NOT GIVING
A F*CK
A COUNTERINTUITIVE APPROACH
TO LIVING A GOOD LIFE

MARK MANSON

ah my favorite food
pizza and S N A K E S