you fuck cheese

and it’s in wisconsin because obviously

did you hear about the cheese fucking competition in wisconsin

can you imagine a world where were all represented by a font? What font would I be? Hmmm, no, not Arial, that’s too straight. No! Not in that way! Just, straight, as in unexciting. Too uh, deadpool…. BROADWAY! Now that’s the one! Now that’s the ONE!!! Hello Internet, welcome to GAME THEORY, where instead of putting a joke here I want to ask you a personal question. If you’re personality were represented by a font, which font would you be? Take a moment and put you font in the comments. I’m really curious to see what everyone has to say. Maybe find a couple new cool fonts to use. I get bored with old calibri 11. And with that out of the way, it’s time to talk UNDERTALE. Now I don’t think I’ve ever gotten this many request to cover a game. Well, except for FNAF. And I suppose FNAF 2. OH and there was FNAF 3. Wait a minute, should I be worried about something here? Anyway, across the board on YouTube, Reddit, and Twitter, you’ve all been wanting Undertale. And honestly, I’m glad you brought it to my attention. Truly loyal theorists will know that earthbound is my favorite game of all time. So a self aware RPG in a similar style, WHOA MAN, it’s like a gift from the indie gaming heavens. Undertale is a game where every character, from goat mom to grind fodder has a sympathetic design and a unique personality, motivations, goals, fears. Whether you’re saving or slaughtering them, the game makes you feel something every time you enter an encounter. But to me, one character stood out amongst all the rest. SANS. A skeleton named after the font, comic sans, hence all the font references at the beginning of the episode. If you haven’t played undertale I’m sure that was a really wierd opening. ANYWAYS, sans is, well, there’s a lot of mystery around this guy. And before we get into it, let me put up a very special spoiler warning: UNDERTALE Is a game best experienced blind. So if you haven’t played it, come back after you’ve finished. I PROMISE YOU, I PROMISE you won’t regret it. Alright so everyone out of the pool and ready for the adult swim? Good. Because I’m feeling pretty determined to get to the bottom of sans’ mystery. So just to recap for those of you who haven’t played the game and ignored the SPOILER WARNING, or just need a refresher, sans is one of the two skeletal brothers who appears in the game. His partner is papyrus, a loud, goofy trap lover also named after a font. But in the world of undertale their origins are a big question mark. All you really know is what’s given by a shopkeeper in Snowden, who claims that sans and papyrus just, and I quote, “showed up one day and asserted themselves.” Wierd, right? What’s more is that papyrus is just kinda the goofy sidekick. SANS is much more complex. He likes fart jokes, but he’s also incredibly deadly and much more serious. Not only is his boss battle the hardest in the game, he’s one of the only characters who has knowledge and power over space and time. He can take shortcuts through the world on ridiculous routes. He even is walking through walls. He also acknowledges that he’s only one of infinite versions of himself, making self-aware commentary of the various timelines you’ve played through in the game. He can even count the number of times he’s killed you. He acts like an arbiter of this world, passing out judgements in the game, even explaining the secrets of EXP and LOVE, or EXECUTION POINTS and LEVELS OF VIOLENCE. In short, he just doesn’t quite fit in with the rest of the world of monsters. But then, what, or who, is he? Well, that he doesn’t belong in the underground seems to be correct. The evidence shows he used to be a surface dweller. In the true pacifist ending of the game, as the group looks out onto the horizon, papyrus asks sans about the giant ball in the sky. Sans says, quote, we call that the sun. This is important because A, the use of the word WE, and knowledge of the sun, shows that sans has a kinship or knowledge of other humans, and B, that despite he and papyrus both being skeletons, and BROTHER, and apparently both appearing in the underworld at the same time, the clearly have two very different histories. Why would papyrus not know the name of the sun but sans would? We get further clues to sans’ origins as we hear him say multiple times he wants to “go home” or “go back.” He says as much during his dinner date scene at the mettaton hotel. He notices that the player wants to go home and says, quote, “I know the feeling.” He then continues, “maybe sometimes it’s better to take what’s given to you.” As though he ended up in the underworld by accident. AND in a genocide run during his boss fight he says, quote, “look, I gave up trying to go back a long time ago.” End quote. And before you say that means going back to the surface world, that’s clearly not the full story. His very next line of dialogue is ” and getting to the surface doesn’t really appeal anymore either.” Key…[Read more]