Hey!!!

soo im doing a bit better from yesterday
not particularly well, everything’s still bad.
really bad.
like, really really bad.
but my friends saved me! I wouldn’t be here making this post if they weren’t talking me out of suicide for close to two hours straight.
they never gave up, and I am SO appreciative of that.

recently, things have been overwhelming
i was trying to take a break but I hold onto this site like a gravitational pull
it’s embarrassing
it’s terrible
I fear it.
but for some reason, I can’t seem to let go.

what I’ve realized is that I’ve helped so many people
and they’ve been retiring the favor
after calming down, I initially felt really bad about need to be helped out of it
i felt embarrassed, greedy, needy, like an attention seeker
i felt horrible
if it wasn’t for margot, if it wasn’t for iggy and lemon, if it wasn’t for manny, chino, mab, silly, elena, if it wasnt for my friends from the site and beyond, if it wasnt for my AMAZING girlfriend nix, I wouldn’t be here. Anymore.
if it wasn’t for willow, and all of you, I’d be gone for good.

I would be a memory.
As strong as the suicidal tendencies are now and will persist to be, I will live.
Thank you.
So much.

also I found this really cool band called good game
lyricism is insane but DAMNNNNN I LOVE RANDOM NONSENSE WE LOVE RANDOM NONSENSE HERE !!!! ^^ x3