• Profile picture of margot

    margot 2024-05-01 21:25:30 UTC

    hey it’s the stick nodes only resident lizard person on this site
    i have an ✨update✨
    specifically a ✨mental health update(yayyyy)
    yeah so as bo burnham would say i feel like a ā€œbig ol’ mfing duffel bag of shitā€
    for those of you who don’t know (which is definitely most of you) i have anxiety!!!!! whooo!!!!
    it used to be something i could manage
    right now i have been having really really really bad very terrible awful severe anxiety
    my anxiety wasn’t off/on at will, but i could say ā€œshush stressful thoughtsā€ and it would
    but now it’s just become insurmountable
    doesn’t have causes anymore, just thoughts that make me panic
    i think of a mistake, something dumb i said, things that are upcoming, existentialism— it overwhelms me and it has no cause
    maybe even when i’m just… sitting down
    i have spent my afternoons laying in bed for like twenty minutes listening to my heartbeat and asking myself ā€œoh my god why is this happeningā€
    usually i have to be doing or thinking about something stressful to warrant that anxiety
    but there’s no cause at all
    and when it does happen it’s severe and debilitating, takes me awhile to snap out of it
    it sucks 100%
    i plan to cut back on the caffeine and sugar, help ease the nerves maybe

    NOW we need some stuff in a lighter tone to live up to the ā€œregular updateā€ side of this post
    Remember that super duper secret story project I’m working on???
    no, of course you don’t
    it would be super egotistical and unrealistic if i expected you to remember everything i say
    HOWEVER I WILL CONTINUE TO TALK ABOUT IT because it’s fully a passion project now
    it’s kinda been a passion project since like the past 4 months writing it
    move aside uroboros there’s a new sheriff in town
    now i have a small teaser
    i present:
    one of the names of the characters!!!!

    chrissy

    boom
    there you go
    anyways, i had to pop in, get some of this out and then end with the smallest teaser of all time
    i’ve been nomster, the resident lizard duder

    13
    • No way, new anomaly post

      Totally excited to see what that super secret project is about!!! (also hope your health improves, stay safe dude)

      2024-05-01 21:48:43 UTC 10
    • I’m very sorry to hear that, I know where you’re coming from.

      There is part of these things that come down to the physical, as you said cutting back on caffeine etc I’m sure will help but mainly it’s psychological. There’s no real fix but that’s where your own insight will come in, for me I just remind myself that for what it’s worth I am just human, mistakes will be made and if I have a panic attack or anything else, I will not die, I may not have comfort in the moment but given the circumstances are dire enough, it will come and so in any case I am not alone.

      It’s almost about letting go which is easier said than done but doing whatever you can to make that transition, to reinforce it is probably the best way to go about it. Different perspectives and more can help you so just try your hand at different things and don’t feel ashamed to feel your own emotions, accepting your emotions is part of moving with them and being able to live your life.

      Wishing you the best

      2024-05-01 22:15:09 UTC 9
      • Replying to: Tastylemon16I’m very sorry to hear that, I know where you’re coming from

        thank you for the advice, it’s really special hearing it come from you
        you’ve got good advice, and i’ll solve this eventually
        thanks, lem

        2024-05-01 22:18:25 UTC 5
        • Replying to: margotthank you for the advice, it’s really special hearing it com

          No problem, really hoping you do.

          It gets very depressive sometimes but just know you’ll always have a place here to get anything off your chest. Good luck to you

          2024-05-01 22:23:50 UTC 5