hey it’s the stick nodes only resident lizard person on this site
i have an ✨update✨
specifically a ✨mental health update✨ (yayyyy)
yeah so as bo burnham would say i feel like a “big ol’ mfing duffel bag of shit”
for those of you who don’t know (which is definitely most of you) i have anxiety!!!!! whooo!!!!
it used to be something i could manage
right now i have been having really really really bad very terrible awful severe anxiety
my anxiety wasn’t off/on at will, but i could say “shush stressful thoughts” and it would
but now it’s just become insurmountable
doesn’t have causes anymore, just thoughts that make me panic
i think of a mistake, something dumb i said, things that are upcoming, existentialism— it overwhelms me and it has no cause
maybe even when i’m just… sitting down
i have spent my afternoons laying in bed for like twenty minutes listening to my heartbeat and asking myself “oh my god why is this happening”
usually i have to be doing or thinking about something stressful to warrant that anxiety
but there’s no cause at all
and when it does happen it’s severe and debilitating, takes me awhile to snap out of it
it sucks 100%
i plan to cut back on the caffeine and sugar, help ease the nerves maybe

NOW we need some stuff in a lighter tone to live up to the “regular update” side of this post
Remember that super duper secret story project I’m working on???
no, of course you don’t
it would be super egotistical and unrealistic if i expected you to remember everything i say
HOWEVER I WILL CONTINUE TO TALK ABOUT IT because it’s fully a passion project now
it’s kinda been a passion project since like the past 4 months writing it
move aside uroboros there’s a new sheriff in town
now i have a small teaser
i present:
one of the names of the characters!!!!

chrissy

boom
there you go
anyways, i had to pop in, get some of this out and then end with the smallest teaser of all time
i’ve been nomster, the resident lizard duder

so i’m alive although there’s so many new users that i don’t think most of them know me
if not then hello youngsters
it’s me the anomaly “nom, naum, nomster” (i have nicknames now :3)
i’m the abnormal resident bisexual lizard living in the sewers across the street from your living situation (wherever that may be)

minor life update:
still writing
i really do only that and a lot of that honestly
it’s coming along good, a new project that’s been refreshing and… sobering?
don’t know the best word for it
just that this new project has made me look and my characters and the way i write way differently, a new mask for every character and new ideas carried with the way my world seems to be changing

but so far life has been in the neutral lane
i plan to take drawing lessons over the summer to get better at that, and then we’ll see if this project comes to fruition
i hope it does, especially since i’m not the only known user on this site working on it and also really excited about it
i am the only one writing it apart from like one advisor who offers advice like the name says

anyway by gay bitches, rabid animals and all the persons between the two

almost forgot to post this anywhere but uh
hello
i have returned and i also finally got out of mmy art block, making an image of peri, an @infiniteguess staple oc because i got some inspiration from after doing some fun story talkies on discord
periii upper body sn image

suddenly reappearing to sent the profile of an oc I have just from like above the waist because legs are hard
introductions: this is emill :3
and now I vanish
emill

this was a test of a lot of new design things

louise character design/personality sheet
So, I made this for a few reasons. I wanted a reason to do an expression test for Louise, and I needed a simpler way to introduce her design and personality as a character. There’s a few interpretations of this character, some of them even non-apocalyptic, but this is for her canonical Uroboros personality, or at least before her arc.

After this, I plan to do a couple more expression tests, mouths and stuff to provide versatility and emotion. If you notice, she has one pointy tooth, and I thought the imperfection helped humanize her a bit more, add characterization even in the smallest details.

when jade saw louise smile she said “fake and edited” and it’s my favorite comment ever

I think of my characters as people. It’s weird to say, especially since they don’t exist – but It helps me create believable characters. Their decisions are still ultimately made by me, they never had a single act of free will, but in a way, thinking of them more like “people” makes it so much easier to know what they’d do in each scenario. Instead of thinking about what would make sense for the story, I think about what would make sense for the character – and then the story writes itself.

(for the digital duel thing cb’s doing)
WIP 2160 x 2160 image of Louise

Here’s a quick drawing of Willem. With the prospect of longer hair (feathers??) I wanted to make a quick thing with a new hairstyle, although it’s not much shown for the amount he has.
I like how it came out, though. He looks very sleepy.

Sleepy Owl (Hairstyle Test)

Louise Design
Okay, so I designed Louise’s face, based off of that side profile I did earlier. It’s awesome, I absolutely love it, I’m so proud of how it turned out. In extension, proud of Louise for somehow looking so badass.

So, It’s odd, but there was one thing with her design I knew I was going to include no matter what, but I have no idea why I was so particular about it. She had to have slightly bushy eyebrows. I don’t know why I wanted to include that, maybe because it made her face pop or have some variety. Maybe it’s because of my own eyebrows, especially since other details of her character have been taken from myself. Especially the autism. I tried to find the perfect balance of crafty, messy, tomboyish, kinda final girl-ish, and yet stylish for her hair, as it was never supposed to look good, yet it does. I also always wanted her to have a visible jawline, no circle heads, and the hairband around her ponytail was always green. The biggest change I think I did was making her go from black-haired to having darker brunette hair, and it’s much longer now. However, I love this look so much.

finished louise, the goober
the hair has always been a problem with her design, but I nailed it now
fuck yeah
louise side profile with kickass hair

wanted to try out some more stylistic stuff, a new design/look for caiman
he’s my trademark oc, the goofy goober I’ve had since day 1
caiman

again, working on designs
louise is tricky to do
It’s just that I’ve spent so long writing her character, envisioning what she should look like but never really knowing the definite answer.
I don’t know what her face looks like, but I know she looks tired.
I think there’s a lot of issues with the face on this drawing, but I’m proud of the clothing.
louise

Hey, I’m back again.
Uh- here’s an image of Willem, practicing my own personal art style.
All of this was done in stick nodes, I feel the need to clarify.
Willem (Personal Artstyle Experiment)

I return. It’s been a month since I’ve posted in this group. Uh-
I listened to the entirety of Bo Burnham’s Inside and made this because I wanted to do something fun and experimental.
Louise (Emulating the style of Hilda)
all of this is in stick nodes
bye again