Are these philosophies? Live and learn will definitely serve you better in the long run.

I’m not the Bootlegsnake America wants. I’m the Bootlegsnake that America needs.

Here’s some real advice:

Form a crutch. Porn, nicotine, weed, alcohol. Doesn’t matter. Find something that not only takes up your time, but takes up a portion of your income. Bonus points if it could negatively change your brain chemistry and create detrimental health problems down the line.

Never be bored. Don’t ever get tired of your current situation. Keep that phone in front of your eyes at all times and make sure you’re scrolling. That constant stimulation will keep you from getting bored and doing something that might just be good for you. God forbid you form a hobby or a beneficial skill.

Be sad constantly. The world is a fuck and you won’t get far following your dreams. Internalize that and let those thoughts hang over you wherever you go. You’ll make only the best most realistic decisions with that mindset.

Do everything 110% and nitpick everything you do constantly. Work at a snails pace and get burnt out because you expect the absolute most from yourself. If you’re getting through it fast and having fun, something isn’t right.

Lastly (and maybe most importantly), do shit tomorrow. Whatever it is that you don’t want to do, you will absolutely have the motivation to do it tomorrow. If you’re late to turn something in, get stressed! Maybe it’ll motivate you.

If you do all of this and follow it to the letter, there is a pretty good chance that you’re going to blow your head clean off your neck.

If this isn’t love then I don’t want it.

They mentioned Optimus Prime? That’s pretty rad