• Repost because the older post has some errors. I’m trying to expand the script because Vincent and Thoughts saying that the old one was too fast. It’s boring too. So here’s an updated script, with Episode 2’s script as well. Yeah, the word “fuck” probably exist in the 20s and the 30s, but they are rarely spoken. In the 40s, it’s common. I’ve added some Italian word on the script too, so it has more “Italian taste”. What do you guys think?

    Probably a spoiler, but this series will be underrated, I believe. Especially with my channel that has 21 subs now.

    EPISODE 1: THE DAY THAT CHANGED MY LIFE

    Act 1:

    Giuseppe: Hey, Pop. Are you okay? Ah, this sick bastard tries to shoot you in the head.

    Salvatore: Yes, I’m fine, no scratches, no wounds. That’s some good throw, sonny.

    Giuseppe: Phew, I’m glad nothin’ happened to you, Pop.

    Salvatore: Wait. How did you get here? The gate supposed to be locked.

    Giuseppe: Some guy opened the gate up, luckily I knocked ‘im out cold. I think we should get out of here. I’ll find one of the cars and try to start them.

    Salvatore: Wait, here. Just in case someone is trying to shoot you.

    Giuseppe: Yeah, thanks. I’ll get going. Keep an eye out for the goons.

    Salvatore: Okay.

    Act 2:

    Giuseppe: Damn these guys, shooting this harbor without any goddamn reason. Cars, cars, where are you car- goddammit!

    Gangster 1: There he is, get him.

    Giuseppe: Shit!

    Gangster 2: Hey, bastard. You won’t escape from this place alive.

    Giuseppe: What in the hell do you want from me. Huh?!

    Gangster 1: Don Romano is pretty pissed off with you. Don’t try to escape.

    Gangster 2: Yeah, we will torture you because you’re not paying for every business you messed.

    Giuseppe: Yeah?! Now get me, figlio di puttana (son of a bitch)!

    Gangster 2: He-he, die- *pain sound*

    Gangster 1: Lucio! Ah, you killed him, you swine! I’ll shoot your brains out!

    Giuseppe: Try me now, you bastard.

    Gangster 1: Shit, no ammo! Drop your heater and fight like a tough guy!

    Giuseppe: I’m gonna make you cry to your mama.

    Gangster 1: Don’t mess with me.

    Act 3:

    Giuseppe: It’s always easy. Stupid prick. Finally, I got one.

    Gangster 3: There you are, prepare for *pain sound*

    Giuseppe: Ah, I hope things go better after this.

    Act 4:

    Giuseppe: Hey, Pop. get in, we’re goin’ home.

    Salvatore: Okay, let’s go- *pain sound*

    Giuseppe: Pop! Goddamit you son of a bitch.

    Gangster 4: Let’s go, let’s go.

    Giuseppe: Pop! Dammit! P-p-please Pop. Stay with me, please.

    Salvatore: Son, you remembered- *cough* -what I said about- *cough* -Uncle?

    Giuseppe: Please don’t leave me, Pop.

    Salvatore: Tell him- *cough* -that I- *cough*  -was wrong-*cough*

    Giuseppe: Pop? Pop? POP?! Ah, goddamnit! What should I do now? That son of a bitch should burst in goddamn flames, THAT GODDAMN ASSHOLE! Huh?

    Giuseppe (In mind): I should kill him.

    Giuseppe: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!! Dammit. *heavy breathing*

    Act 5:

    Giuseppe: You wanna know something about the guy that killed my father? Well, he’s a senior capo in the Romano Crime Family. That asshole, he deserved what I’ve done to him back in ’37. He was killed with his own weapon in his own house. His house exploded, and they found his burnt body with his neck sliced.

    Son: Pa, c’mon. That’s too brutal, even the St. Valentine Massacre wasn’t that brutal. Anyway, what happened after that?

    Giuseppe: Actually I wanted to visit your Uncle Carter during that day for another shooting practice. He’s a good gunner, actually, but he didn’t use American weapons like Tommy and things. He has a Kar98k in his house but now used for hunting in Oregon. I haven’t seen him for 2 years now. I don’t know if he was killed or something.

    Son: By the way, I think I should drink something. Um…Cathy, can you make a cup of coffee for me?

    Cathy: Of course. I’ll do it.

    Son: Thanks, sis. By the way, how many people did you kill in your lifetime?

    Giuseppe: I don’t know, probably a hundred or two.

    Son: Damn, that’s a lotta blood you spilled.

    Giuseppe: Kill for your loved ones, you know? You won’t let your old man killed by some guy and then just leave them.

    Son: What happened after that?

    Giuseppe: Nothing happened after that until 1930. Carter and I were pulling a heist back then and we’ve got the money. Guys from Romano trapped us in an alley. Luckily, we were being able to knock ’em all off.

    -The End-

    EPISODE 2: THE FIGHT IN THE ALLEY

    Act 1:

    Giuseppe (1955) : I’ve destroyed a lot of shops back in ’27. My uncle is a Capo in DeLuca Crime Family. Me and Carter extorted a shop in the first day we’ve met. Yeah, anyway. About the fight in the alley, we were trying to escape from the cops, but the Romano guys found us first.

    Carter: So Joe. do you have any plans about this bag?

    Giuseppe: No, I don’t have one, but I think I should buy myself a bread or something.

    Carter: C’mon, you can spend them for better things.

    Giuseppe: Anyway, I should buy a bread from Gianni because I’m hungry now.

    Carter: Yeah,…[Read more]

    6
    • ngl i didn’t read all that but browsed through a few bits

      good dialogue (and 10/10 names…well, mainly just Giuseppe that’s like the best name ever it’s so fun to say)

      (like squirrel)

      anyway what was i saying

      oh, you’re putting a LOT of work into this and i hope u stick with it and it turns out well

      just make sure to balance out text heavy scenes/plot development (necessary) with appropriate amount of eye candy and action

      also while having text not stick around on screen *too long* is good, i think in you 1 min teaser it was a tad too fast, also mayhaps chill a bit with the camera panning back-and-forth so much during talking

      just throwing out what was on my mind sorry if coming out as just negative i don’t mean it that way lol
      just trying to offer some unsolicited advice

      2020-09-06 11:36:46 UTC 3
    • Nice! Also prob should’ve mentioned that I made Carter’s dad a nazi in his original backstory

      2020-09-06 15:25:37 UTC 0
  • Replying to comment by: Hebi🙂

    I’ll give a try

    1
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  • Replying to comment by: Hazbin SlayerSplashscreen thing ended,i dont think he accepts anyones Spl

    There will be another contest next month, I dunno

    1
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  • Replying to comment by: ⛧ Skerrox ⛧@ralph when you going to add my oc to the splash screen?

    wait for 69 more years.
    -lulu

    1
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  • Replying to comment by: Chloe.Bored sketches. Idk, give me your oc and i might sketch them

    Lewd pictures

    1
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  • No, don’t kill TikTok. Let me do it myself

    2
  • Replying to comment by: BenAnimsandMoreYTHey @jdmtuneboy, I was wondering if I could edit the 1969 Mu

    Yeah, yeah. Sorry for a late reply since that’s my alt. Anyway, yeah. You can do anything

    0
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  • Replying to comment by: Jadey M.This is probably the longest video I've ever made, yes. I'

    @ralph whaddaya think

    1
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  • Replying to comment by: 🎃🍂ThoughtsOfHalloween🍂🎃So the No One - "Movie" will have to be split into 7 parts

    You should use a PC. Well, if you have one, idk.

    2
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  • Replying to comment by: mamoshiwait, what's going on w akimbo

    Just an animation community, this is a hyun’s dojo ripoff, yes

    1
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  • Replying to comment by: Lulu@jurygamer

    y u bulli me

    1
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  • If Ralph dies, we all should blame sean

    7
  • Replying to comment by: 🎃🍂ThoughtsOfHalloween🍂🎃Animation: 8/10 Fluid-ness: 8/10 Story: idfk/10 Uniqueness:

    yeah, I’m going to work on the dialogues, making it slower, longer and better, the subtitle font needs to be replaced to with something like Arial, Times New Roman, or Calibri (Mine’s Bahnschrift Condensed and it’s kinda hard to read but stylish for designing).

    I’m not good at storytelling tho, and some were based on Mafia and Godfather franchise.

    1
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  • Replying to comment by: [Abandoned]have you watched it, its not about fortnite

    It’s about epic games, yes

    0
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  • This is probably the longest video I’ve ever made, yes. I’m gonna put this on Akimbo anyway. The first minute is done now.

    12
    • This is decent. I’ma think about it for a little bit.
      I’ll come back to this post later today.

      2020-09-05 12:06:59 UTC 8
    • Has a lot of potential. I like it.

      2020-09-05 13:09:50 UTC 5
    • Animation: 8/10
      Fluid-ness: 8/10
      Story: idfk/10
      Uniqueness: 10/10
      Pacing: 3/10

      The main problem is the pacing. It was a bit too fast so it was kinda hard to read the texts. And the pacing made it hard to understand what was even going on. And at a time the text blended with the background.
      Otherwise it was pretty good.

      You are in.

      If you want this uploaded on the channel just send the thumbnail, video title, and the description. [email protected]

      2020-09-05 13:32:31 UTC 6
      • Replying to: 🎃🍂ThoughtsOfHalloween🍂🎃Animation: 8/10 Fluid-ness: 8/10 Story: idfk/10 Uniqueness:

        yeah, I’m going to work on the dialogues, making it slower, longer and better, the subtitle font needs to be replaced to with something like Arial, Times New Roman, or Calibri (Mine’s Bahnschrift Condensed and it’s kinda hard to read but stylish for designing).

        I’m not good at storytelling tho, and some were based on Mafia and Godfather franchise.

        2020-09-05 13:40:07 UTC 1
      • Replying to: 🎃🍂ThoughtsOfHalloween🍂🎃Animation: 8/10 Fluid-ness: 8/10 Story: idfk/10 Uniqueness:

        agree

        2020-09-05 14:14:24 UTC 1
    • wait,
      what’s going on w akimbo

      2020-09-05 14:14:39 UTC 3
    • @ralph whaddaya think

      2020-09-05 15:40:31 UTC 1
    • copypaste youtube comment go!

      very detailed, this is a good indicator of the quality for the rest of the episode/series, and if true, you gonna be rivaling EB’s Project Landfall in terms of plot depth and character/environment design

      big-ass, mech, solider boots to fill – but you might just be able to pull it off you madlad

      2020-09-05 22:29:36 UTC 3
      • Replying to: Ralph (Developer)copypaste youtube comment go! very detailed, this is a good

        Hmm. Interesting. Time to push things even further.

        2020-09-06 18:05:09 UTC 0
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