Minions.

Minions have been on this

planet far longer than we have.

They go by many names.

Dave, Carl, Paul, Mike.

Oh, that one is Norbert.

He’s an idiot.

They’re all different,

but they all share the same goal.

To serve the most despicable

master they could find.

Boss!

Making their master happy was the

tribe’s very reason for existence.

But that’s not to say that they

didn’t have other passions.

Huh?

Finding a boss was easy.

But keeping a boss,

therein lies the rub.

Nope,

it wasn’t easy for these guys.

But they never gave up.

With the emergence

of the Stone Age

came the rise of a new species.

Man was very different

from the dinosaur.

He was shorter, hairier,

and way, way smarter.

The Minions took

an instant liking to man,

and helped him

the best they could.

Oh, no, no.

Eh?

Poor man.

So trusting, so fragile.

So, so delicious!

Their quest for a boss put

the Minions front and center

for some of civilization’s

most historic moments.

Anubis!

Ancient Egypt

held great promise.

Okay! Pancake!

But it didn’t last long.

Hmm. Oh!

Ow!

The Dark Ages were

actually fun times.

Their new master had a tendency

to party all night

and sleep all day.

Ooh!

Oh.

But eventually,

the party was over.

They bounced from

one evil boss to another,

but they never seemed

to find their perfect fit.

One particular employer took

their failure very, very badly.

Huh?

The Minions had no other

choice but to keep moving.

Oh.

And then,

when all hope seemed lost,

they found sanctuary.

The Minions were safe!

Years passed as the Minions

forged their own civilization.

They truly made

a life for themselves.

But something just wasn’t right.

They felt empty inside.

Without a master,

they had no purpose.

They became aimless

and depressed.

If this continued any longer,

the Minions would perish.

But all was not lost

for one Minion had a plan.

His name was Kevin.

He was excited to share

his idea with the tribe.

He’d been preparing

for days, weeks, months.

But now he was ready.

Buddies!

Kevin would leave the cave…

…go back

to the outside world,

and he would not return

until he had found his tribe

the biggest,

baddest villain to serve.

But he needed help.

Me!

Bob was eager to go,

but Kevin felt he was

just not strong enough

for the dangerous journey ahead.

Uh, no.

Luckily, someone stepped up.

Stuart!

Huh? Me, me?

Oh! Thank you.

Truth be told, Stuart had

no idea what he was chosen for…

…but was thrilled it

made people cheer for him.

Thank you.

Me!

Eh, okay.

Eventually,

Bob’s energy and enthusiasm,

but mostly lack of other volunteers,

changed Kevin’s mind.

The tribe said their farewells.

Kevin had given them something they

hadn’t had in a very long time.

Hope.

Bob!

Hey, Tony!

Tom…

Chris…

Hey, Bob.

Oh.

Bye-bye.

Kevin felt pride.

He was going to be

the one to save his tribe.

Stuart felt hungry mostly.

He was going to be the one

to eat this banana.

And Bob…

Bob was frightened

of the journey ahead.

Ah. Okay.

Okay. Okay.

And they were off.

Off to find their new boss!

Huh? Kevin!

Huh?

Huh? Banana!

Uh, Stuart?

Banana. Banana!

Ugh! Ugh! Stuart!

Stopa!

Uh, Bob! Stopa!

Huh? Oh!

Bob!

Huh?

Uh, no, no.

No, no. No, no, no.

Profiterole.

No, no, no!

Stuart…

Ah!

Oh, look at that one!

Whoa!

Peace!

Make love, not war!

Peace and love!

Boo-ya!

Boo-ya! Boo-ya!

Hey, hey, hey, oh.

Kashmiri?

– Boo-ya!

– Boo-ya! Boo-ya!

Oh.

Banana!

– Hey! Hey, taxi!

– Hey! Hey!

Oh.

Hey, hey, hey, hey!

Banana! Hey, hey!

Stuart! Hey, oh!

Kevin!

Bob!

Oh. Bello!

Bob!

Huh? Oh.

Ah! Bob!

Huh? Whoa!

Women’s bell bottoms

and tie-dye shirts marked down.

Check out our wide selection

of go-go boots and miniskirts.

Bob!

Okay.

Huh?

Bob!

The store is now closing.

Hey, what are you doing?

Bob!

Give me that!

Kevin!

Oh. Oh.

Ah.

Huh?

Oh.

Oh. Hey!

…buddies.

No? Oh.

Bob! Bob!

Oh.

Oh.

Tim.

Oh!

Me Tim!

Mmm, thank you! Hmm?

…Stuart?

Uh, nah.

Okay, okay.

Oh. “Dating game.”

Okay.

And welcome back

to The Dating Game!

Well, Jennifer…

…have you decided

which of these three gentlemen

you’ll go on a date with?

Is it Bob?

Yeah! Go, Bob!

Kevin?

Kevin!

Or will it be Stuart?

Oh. Yo, Stuart!

Gosh! This is so hard!

They all sounded so cute.

Um, I think I’m gonna go with…

Stuart.

VNC!

You’re watching the top-secret

Villain Network Channel.

If you tell anyone,

we’ll find you.

Huh!

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Attend guest lectures

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So evil.

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Hey, a girl’s gotta

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– Move aside, men!

– Make way.

There’s a new bad man in

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Excuse me.

…and that man is a woman!

Crime isn’t pretty!

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Get to…[Read more]