Hamilton — Act 1 – Aaron Burr, Sir

[Enter Teo and Gigan]

T: Pardon me, are you Gigan Burr, sir?

G: That depends, who’s asking?

T: Oh sure, sir,
I’m Teo Dan Hamilton, I’m at your service, sir,
I’ve been
looking for you–

G: I’m getting horny…

T: Sir, I heard your name from Littleman
I was seeking a major in identifying geyness
When I got out of sorts with a senpai of yours,
I may have raped him,
It’s a blur, sir
He handles the financials–

G: You punched Lulu?

T: *snaps* Yes!
I wanted to do what you did
Take a little poo then I can join the geyvolution
he looked at me like I was pooping
I WASN’T POOPING–
So how’d you do it?
How’d you become gey so fast?

G: I had to do it or the belt would catch my–

T: Oh! You’re a gorgon,
Wait that’s Medusa,
You’re a gorgon?
God I wish there was a war
Then we could prove that we’re more gey than anyone bargained for

G: Can I buy you a Ralph body pillow?

T: That would be nice…

G: And while we’re talking, let me offer you some free advice.
Talk less….
Don’t be a whore…

T: huh

G: Don’t let them know if you nut for their wooden door…

T: umm

G: You wanna get a head?

T: yes

G: Tools who run their mouths off don’t get head…

[Enter Spookus, Tomzonia, and Soupboie]

SP: AH YA YO YO-YO YO
WHAT TIME IS IT?
SHOWTIME!

G: Like I said….

SP: Ay yo, I’m Spook Laurens in the place to be,
Two pints of Stew’s blood,
BUT I’M WORKING ON THREEEE!
these Anti-JoJos don’t want it with me,
cuz I’ll
tell Scray to beat their buns
til’ I’m free

T: A peepee, mon ami, Tomzonia Lafayette,
the spongebob of the geyvolutionary set!
I came from your mom’s
just to say wazzah
To you guys, something-something,
something…. *sad*

SP: ….
WELL YO I’M SOUP BOI MULLIGAN
UPPIN IT LOVIN IT
AND I HEARD YOUR MAMA SAY
“come again!”
ay, because I go like a horse,
cuz of course,
it’s hard to have intercourse
when you owe debt
to your gf….

*silence*

SP: No more of….that.
Pour me another brew, son!
AND RAISE ANOTHER GLASS TO THE REVOLUTION!
Oh, and if it ain’t the geyest one at Gey College,
Gigan Burr,
Give us a verse, drop some knowledge.

G: Good luck with that, a one-night stand,
Imma go take a drunk shiz,
WE’LL SEE WHERE IT LANDS!

SP: The geyvolution’s immenent, what do you stall for!?

T: He wants to wait, so he can rain pain on all whores…

Trio:
kinda hot ngl
who are you, what you gonna do?

(next comes “My Shot”)