Log 8:

I AM FEELING HAPPIER AND BETTER THAN EVER!
I HAVE SO MUCH ENERGY!
This is a long LONG one so grab a snack. This story will take place from Tuesday to Thursday. Names, places, and names of places are changed.

Tuesday, December 10, at 4 PM. EST
So I was getting ready to go to this Christian program called River of Faith. I left my trailer home and started to go to Bellas I knocked on her door and her Mom answered. It turned out Bella was at play practice. She quitted volleyball because it was too stressful and she had a concussion a month ago. I guess she picked up a new sport. So I was like Oh, ok and left. I got there and the leaders of the program said hi and I went to the back area. (Only people they like/trust can go there it’s like part breakfast bar part kitchen.) So I sat on a stool did stuff and later I listened to Real Talk. That’s where the main fat dude talks about real stuff and believing in god. In the middle of it, they played a video of the virgin Mary. After that one of the main people misses. Lauren Talked to me and it got to about the volunteer program (Bella was there by that time I think) And I said “Sure I’ll ask my parents.
That night I asked but my Mom, being overprotective, was saying no. I was thinking WHAT I’M 15, 16 IN MARCH AND YOU NEVER LET ME GO OUT ON MY OWN AND DO STUFF! NEVER ITS LIKE A DAMN PRISON!
But my Step-Dad interrupted her and said you can go.
I was so exited! So basically I’m going to a new church from 4:30PM to 8:30 PM and I was going to set stuff up for the 100+ People that supports the River of Faith program.

Wednesday December 11th 4:00 PM EST
I am getting ready to go. I am wearing dark jeans with a nice black button-up shirt. And I added hardening gel in my hair and set it to look nice and boy did I look nice. I put on my brown overcoat/vest thing. And I left. I went and knocked on her door and her sibling answered. I was let in, (I’m always am)
Bella came out and she asked if I can go.
I held up the permission slip and she, I sh!t you not, jumped up in the air a few times from excitement.
I said hi to her Mom and I spent some time with her youngest sister Baylor. She was adorable. A funny but terrible thing with her is that Bella made a video where Baylor was saying “Go there’s the door, leave.”
And now she says it to me sometimes. She got out. She was wearing these silk pants that went above her waist and a orange-ist shirt. (I did not look too good) But somehow it did. Proboally because of how beautiful she is. We got picked up and driven to the church and we talked and hanged out. We handed out candy sleighs and later handed out food. After that we hanged out and played some childish games because there were no TV’s we could use to watch Demon Slayer.
So we played tag. But I hid when she was it. She quit XD
After that we went into the lounge room. The we a leather sofa, leather loveseat. Across from it was two reclining chairs. We went in there hanged out played stupid games and that was it. I bet people that saw us go in there must’ve thought we had sex. So then after that we walked around and got rid of trash from the tables of the 100+ volunteers.
After that we got driven home. I mentioned that I’ma give her the Christmas present. I asked her to come out of the car with me and I said to the driver that she would be right back. I walked to the steps and told her to stay there and I’ll ask my Mom if you can come in. So I peeked my head in the door asked, she said yes and I told her. Bella started to walked in and I ran to my room got the gift and left my room. There was NO way she was coming in there it was messy as hell. So we stood in the hallway near the living room and I handed it to her. As she was unwrapping it I mentioned that I noticed you were really depressed lately and I made this to let you know that people love you. She saw it. My heart stopped as she read the clay plaque, her name, her birthdate then three words, I love you. She looked up at me her face was red. I didn’t know if she was blushing or if she was going to cry, But I didn’t care. She loved it. She gave she a long, tight hug. I wish that it would never end. It was like all of my anxiety, cringe, hate, sorrow that weighs on my shoulders washed away at that moment. She said something in that hug, I couldn’t hear it her coat was kinda covering my ear. But I heard the word “come”.
I’ll ask her tomorrow. When we separated I wanted to kiss her but I didn’t know if she liked me back. She said to me, “I’m going to put this on my dresser.” and then jokingly said, “And you can’t say nothing about it.” And I didn’t. As she was leaving my Mom said, walk her home. So I did but as I have gotten off the porch I saw the car and thought, Danmmit, I really wanted to know she had gotten home safely and possibly give her a peak on the cheek but no. I told them to wait.
She said bye I said bye back and she went into the car and said “Are you going to my concert that im singing a…[Read more]