Anyways, I want to tell you a little secret.
It was normal week day for me, I woke up and had my glass of sulfuric acid and rusty nails… without any milk. As expected, I got tetanus! of course, It didn’t stay around for long because I Intimidated It away with my sheer masculinity. My wimpy wife is back at It again, nagging at me for how much space my muscles took up, I left the house in my 10-Inch Rays 42-Inch Tire Ford F-550 Harley-Davidson Edition. After driving over several cars and giving the beta males that drove the road rage, I arrived at the gym. When I walk In, Everyone bows to me, I use the second and third toughest guys in the gym as bench press weights, about 800 pounds of pure muscle. After Intimidating the mayor, I got my private police escort to my Job at the supplement store. When I arrived, My boss is furious that I’m an hour late, I sneeze and he faints, The store doesn’t get many repeat costumers with me calling everyone who walks in a pussy and all, I just think they’re jealous of me. After my private dinner with the president at the salty spitoon, Toughest place around (Not Exactly), I trotted on over to the city’s military base to borrow one of their Jets to fly home. When I get home, My wife is asleep, After watching UFC and laughing at the little girls who were fighting, I decide It was time to hit the sack. I walk Into my room, grab my wife and throw her off the bed, as she hits the wall at lightning speed, I hear a loud thud sound and to my surprise, She doesn’t wake up.
“Okay, So maybe she died… but that’s why I got backup wives at back houses. That’s just the price of being married to the man” I think to myself. As I doze off, Zeus himself Invades my dream at the Playboy Mansion and for the fifth night in a row, I knock him out cold in one punch.
“Puny God” I muttered, the next morning I wake up and the day repeats.

Stop being a pussy.

No u

BrUh, I aM nOt BaD! uR bAd >:( >:( >:(