*Checks non-existent watch because i’m not a scumbag who buys overpriced watches when i already own a phone*
Hmm, haven’t made an unnecessarily long post about my own self loathing and my issues with the site.
Hmm, alright. So yeah, this’ll be another of my ultra long comments where i just say some thoughts about what’s happing in the community and what my worries are for SN’s future and my guesses on how to fix it (but always get rejected despite me being right 90% of the time), if you don’t want any negativity, i’ll give you the luxury of simply going to another post, the activity section’s basically infinite, you have plenty of choice.

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Okay, so i have two points, meaning this is gonna be as big as the balls of a guy who beat the Ender Dragon on Hardcore Difficulty. My first is an apology. This isn’t for just anything recent like fighting with Ramox or anything, this is in general, for everything. I’d like to take you back to a much older time, a simpler time, back when even proposing the idea of transparency was absurd and you’d be laughed at, everyone knows SN can’t handle that. Back then, i joined SN, properly. I’d scouted once or twice but only got hooked upon talking to people in the fig comments. It was the only way to comment back then so the ability to make random posts was impossible, i sort of wish it stayed that way sometimes, even if HostGator was a pain in the ass with the constant 304 Errors. Back then, from what i saw, JackFly, ExplosiveBullet, DmLan and Berke seemed to take a centre stage, i’m not saying Ralph because he’s just obvious. I met these guys and immediately grew to like them. Bullet with his incredible figs, Berke with his quirkiness, they all worked off each other like a well scripted show. This was also in the time i was first beginning to ditch scarf and base figs. While i didn’t like them that much, i never really told anyone to think any different, i knew it wasn’t my place. Not until something happened. I made some figs, a lot of figs, very fast. I grew some recognition especially from certain ones like Empress Roux, Ralph with a Tutu and Demon’s Lair. I grew a fanbase for the first time and it felt incredible. But, being young and naive, though ultimately goodwilled, i used this power wrongly.

Once the Community Section hit, i was able to hit people and hard. I would criticise, i blatantly attacked people, straight up insulting their creations with the intentions of getting them to try using more advanced figs. I’m glad this was cut short by a quick snap from JackFly who fortunately knocked some sense into me. He told me about how vile i’d been and I reluctantly listened, for the good. While i can thank him for this, i find it sad that he and his little micro-community of friends hasn’t really forgotten that side of me as i still feel very unwelcome by them, his group just feeling so alien from the rest of the SN community. I’m not here to talk about HOWFians and the such though, i’m here to state my own issues.

For these acts i did back then, i’m sorry, i am deeply sorry. I’d go back to tell myself not to if i knew what it would cost. It’s more than likely why the community feels more like a battlefield than a group of mates. Everyone is so hostile, even if it’s for irony sometimes, drama is what this place lives and breathes off of and it disgusts me to know i was more than likely the root to this horrible tree.

I’d try to improve from that day on though, i’d tried again and again to be a better person and slowly but surely, i’ve been getting better. Unfortunately, due to my autism kicking in or just me being very easily stressed, i’ve shouted and screamed at people anyway, many a time recently too, but only really on Discord. This usually happened when i was already stressed and people just told me i was the issue and stuff without giving a clear explanation as to what i was doing wrong, many a time not even caring if i told them that their solution wouldn’t work or if i just straight up told them to go away, i remember recently getting very stressed and had Toxic come to me to calm me down but even as i told him to go away he persisted, leading me to just explode in rage and make the issue far, far worse. For the future, if i do seem stressed, please just leave the conversation where it is, you’ll only make the issue worse if you pursue.

But yeah, those stresses will never go away which hurts. I’d say by now i’ve managed to shed myself of those older sins of causing drama though even if i have, i still have people telling me i harshly criticise, even if i barely criticise at all nowadays, even rarer being about negatives. I’m trying to be a better person, trying to make the community happy, accepting, fair. But it’s so hard now that i just don’t have that same connection with the community. I used to be confident when calling myself the popular guy jere as it was basically fact. But by now, even if it may or may not be the case, i don’t feel s…[Read more]