Little keki, I genuinely cannot think of anyone else I’ve ever met—online and in person—that is as genuinely, unapologetically regarded as you. I’ve known islanders who were smacked on the head by a coconut when they were little kekis, and none of them turned out as hypocritical and fart-sniffing as you have. You should be both proud and ashamed of your stupidity, because nobody here on these beautiful islands are like you!

Genuinely, my little cuz, you need to go and find something productive and healthy for you. It isn’t normal or healthy to be your age and be as stupid as you currently are.

As the ancient Hawaiians used to say,
“Get help!”