Haven’t posted here in a while..

This is my physique

⚖️ Update No.17 – Mind and Body ⚖️

For a few years now, pushing myself has mostly been a physical thing, but through new circumstances and challenges, it’s now in equal part, sometimes even more-so- a mental challenge. When I say pushing myself mentally, I mean in ways that I can’t always describe, like how I would intend to maintain a strong sense of focus and applied willpower to engage myself physically as well as mentally in achieving my goals. Accustoming myself to this has meant many things- the likes of which I will not touch on, for a few reasons.

Today I went for the 210kg deadlift as I said I would, and surprisingly it moved fairly quickly. I knew I was getting stronger anyway and my grip especially has improved a lot where I can now over-hand deadlift 150kg, so when I had gone to try 210, I got it and thought I’d try 220kg.

At first I was doubtful as it’s usually a stretch to even get what you were planning on getting, but today I managed to have enough mental and physical control to make the right call and I managed to pull 220kg ( 485lbs ) for one rep, mostly clean form with no equipment, as per usual for me.

I am very close to the end range of 227kg or 500lbs and it’s good. In a lot of ways, it will be very much so the finishing of one chapter and the start of another, I feel. I don’t think it’ll be too drastic at first, but if I can swing into the kind of training I want to be doing, then it will be every bit as challenging- if not more, than what weightlifting has ever been.

There’s a certain nuance to pushing yourself in ways that connect with you, that not everyone can tap into due to personal reasons and whether it’s applicable to the kind of person you are and how it befits you. In my experience, however, it’s always one of the most liberating feelings I think one can have, applying that liberation through other means, especially conducting it through mental elements, means applying the best aspects to my mentality across a vast range, will only spell good things for me. Not because I am need of them or crave them, but because I feel everyone should have the peace they desire.

🐦‍🔥 Update No.16 – Turning a Corner 🐦‍🔥

It’s been a long time since I last wrote on my physical progressions, haven’t really felt the need and I had chosen to change some styles of training since a lot of things have been changing in my life as well as my training philosophies.

My goal last time was to cut weight and to achieve a lighter weight I felt reasonable, while this is still the goal, I have decided to pause it to essentially finalise my current gym goals. A big part of everyone’s training, is the point where they question what they are doing.

This happens all the time, you pick up a weight- you want to put it back down when it starts to hurt, you start running- your legs begin to ache and your shins feel like they are being pricked at the bone, you squat in succession- your thighs begin to burn.

During the stages of my training when I was applying martial arts training to lose weight, I realised that the gym and everything I was doing there felt like a poor imitation for what it was that I was doing when I would train in my own way, training Martial Arts and pushing the limits. In a lot of ways, I have intended to shift to Martial Arts and more ‘functional’ training if you will, for a long while now. Recently, however, what I do in the gym and with how gym culture is, I see so much insecurity and foolish attempts at self-validation by literally adding more to your physical form or by lifting heavier.

The difference for me in what I would call ‘Martial Arts style Training’ and the gym, is that when you lift for strength or to increase the size of your muscles, you’re set to a basis in which muscle fibres break down and dependent on your routines of recovery, they build up stronger again. It’s for this reason that lifting to me is incredibly underwhelming as no real test, or at the very least, the test- the challenge I personally crave, is not provided for within this training. I am accustomed to it and even if I wasn’t, it is mostly a test of muscle than anything else.

My point in all of this is that, once I reach my current goal of a 500lbs deadlift, my time with the gym and conventional weight lifting will be conclusive, at least for the foreseeable future. My muscles I am pleased with, my strength I am satisfied with, but most importantly, my experience with it all is for the most part complete.

The bottom line to weight training and conventional gym training is that it is repetitive and the results are only cumulative from what you know you have already trained within. To train Martial Arts and the means to physically express yourself in a way that is meaningful to you, is to be in touch with who you are and how you intend to move through and with the world around you.

In a lot of ways it is just subjective and my point in all of this is that once I have ticked the metaphorical boxes with the gym and achieving specific weight lifting goals, I will be doing what speaks to me more, which is martial arts style training. If there was any message I could leave for you to take away from all this jibber jabber, it would be to find what you need to physically express yourself in a way that is truly meaningful to you, something that surpasses explanation and provides you with the challenges and clarity you may need.

🫠 Update No.15 – Progress and Pain 🫠

Since last update I have lost 5kg in weight putting me at a nice 110kg ( from my starting weight of 115kg or around 250lbs ), my bench PR so technically I can once again bench press my bodyweight. I’m hoping to go beneath 110 into 105 but we will have to see how that goes.

The fast is definitely a challenge, the discipline and self-control extent of it becomes routine enough, ruining that makes things much harder but nonetheless I am still moving forward. The main challenge for me is lack of energy due to nutrient deficiency and my naturally high impact style of training and physical activity.

Today was deadlift day, typically a back and arm day, but due to a wrist injury I am playing it safe and avoiding training arms the way I typically do. So today was exclusively deadlifts, my goal was to do 180kg, 3 sets, 3 reps but after one set I was unable to muster the strength to do more so I decided to challenge myself in a different domain because I refuse to leave a session of training so bare bones.

I ended up doing 100kg for 50 reps, not consecutively but I still managed to complete the 50 and my lower back was as stiff as wood, truly very tight.

My main goal this year is to pull 500lbs or around 227kg off the ground but that will have to wait until I am eating sufficiently again, once I am lighter.

😒 Update No.14 – FTSIO 😒

Operation FTSIO has begun ( F*ck This Sh*t I’m Out ) after fasting for a few days now I’ve lost a whopping 0 lbs. No but seriously, where I’m still learning about fasting and this whole cutting nonsense I’ve lost little to no weight due to slip-ups or miscalculations towards what I’m eating. I figured, if I don’t eat all day, then eat dinner, I’m good to basically eat whatever I want.. not true.

I think I need to get to doing some cardio again, just been difficult with my work schedule and getting prepped to drop [REDACTED], sorry can’t tell you guys yet, some people know but for the rest of you, suffer.

No but seriously, a lot of stuff going on right now but once I’m settled and clued in, it should flow a little better, it’s just a little strenuous. Trying to come up with the right routines and so on, anyway, enough ranting, eat your veggies, stay in school, whatever whatever.

Bye for now.

✂️ Update No.13 – The Cut. ✂️

Hello again, an update since last two months ago..

Been out of the gym a little this past week or two but things are moving along nicely. Last time I deadlifted I managed to pull 200kg conventionally for 2 reps without assistance, so like usual, no belt, no straps, just raw lifting except no elevation on the lift this time like last time I mentioned deadlifts.

My goal is to reach a steady 4 – 5 reps on 200kg followed by a 210kg 1 – 3 reps ( technically PR ) as prep for the true PR of 227kg which is a smidget over 500lbs. I’m honestly looking forward to it and have full faith that within a month, maybe less, 500lbs is going to be lifted off the ground. 💪

On an unrelated note, I am once again on a cut meaning I am trying to lose weight from my current bodyweight of around 250lbs to roughly 220lbs let’s say, could even be less I don’t know.

So far it’s going well, the goal in this cut isn’t to lose weight but adjust to that style or eating and life which will be beneficial for the future. I like to imagine that I am a monk or wanderer travelling the Earth and I can only occasionally forage for food. I still eat throughout the day, Breakfast then Dinner and some in-between stuff to make my stomach aware that I still intend to use it but so far it’s going well.

The difference between previous ‘cuts’ and now is that I have more in the way of time and dedication to the cause, not to mention the mindset has changed not out of motivation but of a sort of satisfaction and discipline to certain aspects on such a cut.

If I can reach around 100kg of lean muscle I’ll impressed but we’ll see because I’m only around 5 ‘ 10 so it’d likely be 90kg ish, maybe less. I only intend to cut to around 15% bodyfat or at least to the point of visible abs.

Update No.11

NOTICE: Most of these entries are for me to check back on than anything else, I post here because it’s fun to do and track the progress with anyone interested.

Once again, it has been time since the last entry, no matter.

Progress has been steady, nothing crazy since my form, my lifts have been on a good progression.

Bench press is looking steady, my last PR was 110kg, looking at 120kg in a few weeks.

Deadlift hasn’t gone up so fast but the increment work to get stronger has, I can do 190kg for probably a good 4 or 5 which is steady. My plan is to slowly bump the numbers on my reps up as well as include some deficit deadlift work and other lower back isolation work.

Squats have been okay, need to get back to it although my hips have been tight so I’m going to do some rehab and stability strengthening work before I do continue.

On another note I have moved a little more towards arm stuff again because it’s fun. Triceps are going strong, full stack tricep pushdown for reps has been moving efficiently like always, biceps has been the focus though. Put some effort towards some EZ bar curls, managed to get 60kg for 5 reps on that. I also started to do plenty of cheat and good form Hammer curls with around 40kg. I’m at a point where doing 40kg with good form for a few reps is doable. I’m looking at doing it with the heaviest dumbbells my gym has which is 50kg or 110lbs. Should get there in a few weeks.

That’s all for now, sorry if this is a drag to read, I’m kind of writing these for my own sake above all else.

Update No.10

Been a while, I have a lot I could say but I’m going to try and keep it simple enough since I could just ramble endlessly.

Past few months have been steady and during Christmas and early January a bit of regression, complications in schedule, illness and a little impingement in my legs.

Legs

Before I was putting up a solid 150kg on squats for like 5 reps, but I followed it up with 500kg on the leg press the following week so my knees aged 25 years in like 3 weeks plus the spinal loading was getting uncomfortable. I’ve been in a sort of rehab state the past month or two.

Other goals

I failed my attempt a while back at 220kg on deadlift but kind of rushed into it, my goal is to build-up the strength again and then hit it super hard with like a 230kg maybe 250kg deadlift at some point. My diet has been iffy, not bad but in terms of nutrients, less than ideal. At the peak I was getting 150 – 250g protein and was making solid progress, the plan is to bring that back and change the training up slightly now I have some armwrestling gear and I’m looking to really substantiate my training again. Weight-wise I’m good, currently at 250lbs @ 5 ‘ 10 with a bodyfat percentage of like 25%, maybe more maybe less. The goal this time is to keep that but utilise it and start going into bodyweight training again a little more to really get somewhere with bodyweight capabilities more than before. For my weight and stuff I still have some good strength and versatility but with the protein intake, new gear and the time to go back to Bagwork stuff and martial arts closer to summer I’m expecting some hefty enhancements.

I know most probably won’t read this and I’m not expecting them too but I like to keep track and refer back to old results and set new goals based on that etc.

Update No.9

I went to PR deadlift and hit arms today ( Bicep, Triceps ) I aimed for 170 – 180kg expecting barely even that and I manage to pull 200kg, strapless, belt less, fully raw, the only attributing factor was a mixed grip which means basically nothing beyond the weight not spinning out of your hand.

200kg or 440lbs was pulled, kinda crazy. My last PR was 160kg lol.

Clearly I was overdue, in any case it’s good to keep a track so that’s why I’m posting again and just at all here really.

I don’t have anything else to say.

🍋 Update No.8 ✂️

The time has come.. the cut has now begun. For those of you who aren’t informed, to ‘ cut ‘ is literally just to cut weight / lose weight which is what I am now doing. Yesterday I bought a bunch of meat and other product like vegetables etc etc and it served as a little experiment to see how I might fare with getting a solid diet going.

It was a little pricey and that hurt but it’s all good, I know what to spend on next time, what not to, so it’s all good. Once I’m back into university I can find a new job anyway and get my finances in order.

🏋️‍♂️ 𝕿𝖍𝖊 𝕷𝖎𝖋𝖙𝖟 🗻

Of course I got to put the lifts in too since holiday..

Deadlift I haven’t PR’ed yet but next session I likely will be, now that I’m using a mixed grip I have more stability with higher weight, I’ve managed to pull 160kg easily enough which was my old PR plus with my regular training I usually do 140kg for like 4 – 5 reps but that was before my holiday, in my most recent session when I last hit that 140kg I’ve skyrocketed to doing ‘ touch-and-go ‘ reps ( Touch the ground a little and immediately pull the weight back up ) of 140kg for 8 solid reps.

I’m looking at a 170 – 180kg deadlift PR.

🗣️ “ 𝗜𝘁’𝘀 𝗮 𝗠𝗶𝗻𝗱𝘀𝗲𝘁 “ 🗣️

Back on some of my best sessions I was able to really feel a good contraction on the muscles and have a killer workout, the secret? Variety. Not necessarily in exercises but rather movements, rep-ranges and the form of said exercise. If I do chest I do bench press for a few sets, work to a heavy set, work with a few sets of a weight where I achieve failure at 4 – 5 reps then work back down until I do like 16 reps with a weight. From here I’ll just do similar style of weight adjustment and training with cable pec flys. Before I used to just do heavy and slightly lighter and neglect that smaller incremental value to feeling a muscle plus the approach of achieving a clean full stretch or contraction on any given lift.

That about concludes today’s entry, thank you.

P.S : Train rear delts, it makes all the difference.

💀 Update No.7 💪

Wanted to put a little update out on things for me lately, first off, the stats.

Bodyweight : 108kg / 238lbs / 17 stone
Bodyfat % : 25 to 30%
Height : around 5 ‘ 9 – 5 ‘ 10

Now for the lifts.

Deadlift : 160kg w/ chalk
Squat : 150kg
Bench press : Just shy of 100kg
Strict overhead press : 70kg

all of these lifts are raw ( no belt, straps etc )

All in all some good stuff but I am the heaviest i’ve ever been, i’m just going to come out and say it, being chunky with a mesomorph build ( Build muscle + Burn fat at a good rate ) is not necessary, especially not at my weight. Once I shift as much weight as I can to muscle mass I’m cutting and working with a consistent weight as much as I can.

With the weight, warm weather, stress of day-to-day-life, self-pressure of meeting goals, getting stuff done regarding SN etc and having some fucked up dreams, I’ve been in a weird mental state, I’ve been happy enough but I’m especially missing ‘ Limela ‘, here we go again.. I don’t like to talk about this but some chick I know I’ve been into for so god damn long. She’s been on my mind like crazy lately, truth is, it’s very complicated ( No really ) so i’ve been stressing about how to go about it.

I’m very private so you’ll never usually get something like this out of me but yeah I’ve just been feeling a little deflated lately.
If you read this far I appreciate it, love y’all.